Possibly time to panic

Today, NPR reported that the WHO recently classified cellphones as "possibly carcinogenic." They write:

An international panel of experts says cellphones are possibly carcinogenic to humans after reviewing details from dozens of published studies...The group classified cellphones in category 2B, meaning they are possibly carcinogenic to humans. Other substances in that category include the pesticide DDT and gasoline engine exhaust.

That's right, folks! You heard it here first: Cellphones = DDT. (Though, I would add, DDT killed birds, while cellphones have yet to be shown to kill anything...except maybe bees.)

Now, I should probably note that the cancer risk of cellphones is far from clear, as it takes a long time to develop cancer and there can be many other potential causes for it once it develops. This means that, to cellphone companies' doubtlessly great delight, it is extremely difficult to definitively link cancer to cell phone use. I'm sure Verizon and AT&T are quite pleased that Cancer Research U.K. has tried to temper the cancer panic by noting that "the only health danger firmly connected to cellphones is a higher risk of car accidents." (From the NPR piece). Time to buy some hands-free accessories!

Nevertheless, I think it's at least possibly time to panic. After all, cellphones emit radiation, and the safety of said radiation is unclear. And as CNN reports, people using, say, iphones, by holding them next to their heads (as one does when talking on the phone), probably routinely exceed their recommended radiation intake:

The Apple iPhone 4 safety manual says for users' radiation exposure to not exceed FCC guidelines, "When using iPhone near your body for voice calls or for wireless data transmission over a cellular network, keep iPhone at least 15 mm (5/8 inch) away from the body."

The same goes for other cellular devices as well, but I thought I'd pick on iphones because, you know, I kind of want one. Though my desire is less strong now that I know i should constantly hold the phone 5/8 of an inch away from my body (does that include my hands?).

Last point: Check out the ridiculous stock photo CBS chose to run with this story:

I can't...What the...I don't...I don't even know.

The NIH has a nice review of the research on cellphones and cancer here.

***

In other news, this is an aptly titled website.

And you thought this blog was all bad news

I just read two articles that I thought I'd share. Both tie into my previous post about the dangers of sitting.

1.  Are we obese because we sit all day?  Some say yes, some say no.  This guy thinks it's about 20% sitting, 80% eating.

2.  So what's the solution?  Well, you could just walk a little more.  See, a solution! Something positive! And you thought this blog was all bad news. (Tiffani, I'm looking at you.)

(Aside: Friends, I hope you're ready for me to suggest walking as every activity we ever do together. What's that? You're still washing your hair? Weren't you doing that last time I asked you to hang out with me?)

More on forks vs. feet here.

And woah, I just learned something new:

...a formerly-obese person burns 20% less calories than a never-obese person of that lower weight - or in other words a 200 lb person, who loses 40 lbs burns about 20% fewer calories than someone who is 160 lbs, but has never been obese.

My lord! That blows. I need to get up and start moving before it's too late!  My three scheduled spinning sessions next week should help.

Los Angeles, I will not miss your car-heavy culture.

***

It's funny 'cause it's true.

This BPA thing is just the tip of the iceberg, mark my words!

I just read yet another article about BPA.  This one covers a recent FDA study that investigated the extent to which canned foods are contaminated with BPA (more here). While I know that the dangers of BPA are old news, it bears repeating that the foods we've always assumed were "safe" to eat might not be.  Or, I suppose, to be more accurate here, the food containers we've always assumed are safe might not be. In any case, the problem as I see it is that the government's policy on the use of chemicals in manufacturing and production is backwards, and the evidence that it acts on is often biased. According to Civil Eats (and presumably US law):

In the U.S., chemicals must be proven to cause harm before they are removed from the market. Yet often exposure adds up over time, which could be resulting in chronic conditions that are difficult to quantify, making it particularly hard to ban a chemical.

Add to that this:

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported in 2009 [that] lobbyists for the chemical industry have historically played an active role in FDA policy making and managing public opinion of the chemical [BPA].

...and it may not be premature to say we're all gonna die.

Shouldn't the government's policy be that chemicals must be proven SAFE before they are added to the market? Not that they are assumed safe until proven otherwise? Or am I a naive idealist to think so?

***

But Jessica, you might be saying, every product possible is now claiming to be BPA free! Aren't you getting your panties in a bunch for nothing? Nope. As this op-ed in the New York Times points out, something has to be substituted for products from which BPA is removed, and the chemical chosen for substitution is not necessarily any better than BPA. In some cases, it might be even worse! People just don't know enough to complain until it's too late:

A manufacturer can replace BPA with another untested compound and get a few years’ use out of it before it, too, becomes the subject of health alerts or news media attention. By the time we know what those new chemicals do to us, entire generations are affected. We are the guinea pigs.

Shit's messed up, yo.

More dangers of air pollution...

Evidently, living closer to more roads (and hence being exposed to more car exhaust and other related pollutants) is associated with higher levels of pre-term birth. Isn't that just swell!*

Me and my only slightly pre-term nephew, who I met for the first time yesterday!

*Caveat: The actual conclusion from the article is as follows: "This effect may be due to the chemical toxins in traffic pollutants, or because of disturbed sleep due to traffic noise."

I wonder if women in Los Angeles give birth earlier, on average, than women living in less polluted areas of the country?

Whoopsies!

Oh, Reddit. So snarky!

Related: Turns out October 21 is the new, real rapture. May 21 was just "an invisible judgment day." I assume the fire and brimstone has been postponed so Jessica can turn 30 before she dies. And become a doctor, hopefully!

Friday Thoughts

1. Turns out some conspiracy theorists were recently proven right, and the Japansese government did lie about whether Fukushima experienced an actual meltdown.  I do wish reality wouldn't encourage crazy conspiracy theorists, but such is life I suppose.  (Meanwhile, my personal conspiracy-esque theories about the food industry continue to play out as expected.)

2.  THE INTERNET IS OUT TO GET YOU!  Or, you know, tailor what you see on a daily basis based on best guesses about what you like to see.  Related.

3.  Your carpet is killing you!  And stupidifying your children, maybe.

4.  Concerned about a zombie apocalypse?  Don't fret; the CDC has you covered.

5.  Worried the rapture will actually happen on Saturday? You are not alone. (Side note: It is hard for me to believe those numbers are real.)

6.  Ever wonder how long humans can survive without food and/or water?  Wonder no more!

7.  And finally, something fun for your Friday.  Everything you ever wanted to know about horse masturbation (and more, most likely).

Judgment Day! Bible Guaranteed! (Or your money back?)

This wouldn't be a proper doomsday blog without a nod to the predicted upcoming rapture on Saturday, May 21st. This will happen, according to proponents, because the bible guarantees it!

The prognostication of May 21 as Judgment day is getting tons of press coverage, in part because a dedicated and vocal group of people has been traveling the country, putting up billboards, and just generally trumpeting (ha! picture-related pun!) the fact that on May 21 sh*t's gonna get raptured.  The projected date of judgment relies upon 89-year-old Harold Camping's mathematical calculations, which have "proved" (with math!) that on May 21, 2011--at 6pm--Jesus will come back.  Kind of crazy, yes, and entertaining too, but there is also a sad component in there. I heard a piece on the radio recently about people who have quit their jobs, spent all their money, even divorced their spouses, all in the service of spreading the word that judgment day is coming. I really hope they were living it up along the way, because come May 22--assuming nobody is swept away on the wings of rapture--those are going to be some unhappy people.

I'm as curious as the next person about a) why so many people have jumped on board the May 21 train, and b) how this specific date was chosen as doomsday, so I read through this insanely long document, titled "NOTHING is more important," which covers, in detail, a) how to read the bible, b) how to interpret the bible, and c) why the day of judgment will be, without question, on May 21.  (Also, d) why evolution is wrong.) Man...let me tell you, whoever wrote that tract was super thorough; it is jam-packed with information!  There's so much to take in that it took me an embarrassingly long time to find the part where the author explicates the calculation of the precise date of the rapture.  Along the way, I learned several interesting things, including:

1. God Loves Factor Trees.

An Infallible Proof (their words, not mine):

Christ was crucified on April 1, 33 AD, the day of Passover in 33 AD...[and] there are exactly 722,500 days inclusive from April 1, 33 AD to May 21, 2011, the Day of Judgment. The number 722,500 can be broken down to the spiritually significant numbers of (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) (5-judgment/salvation, 10-completeness, 17-heaven).

It is absolutely incredible that two dates (April 1, 33 AD and May 21, 2011) separated by almost 2,000 years break down into two pairs of very significant spiritual numbers (5, 10, 17). Only God, who created this great universe with all of its precise physical laws, could have designed the timeline of history in such a precise and marvelous way. It cannot be coincidental that these two dates are tied together in such an exact manner.

But wait, there's more! Chew on this:

The number 666 [which signifies the devil, obvs -ed.] breaks down into the spiritually significant numbers of 2 x 3 x 3 x 37. 7 (2-Gospel, 3-purpose, 37--judgment). 

The number of years from the completion of the Old Testament in 391 BC to 2011 AD is 2,401 years which quite amazingly breaks down to 7 x 7 x 7 x 7 (7-completeness).

Why do all this factoring? Well, like I said, God loves factor trees.  Or, in the words of the tract writer, "God uses numbers to convey spiritual truth." If by some chance you want to know more, there are tons of factor trees laid out on pages 29-33.

2. There is nothing you can do to be saved. You are either saved or you're not. It doesn't matter what you do.

To quote the self-professed experts:

God’s chosen people, referred to as His elect, had nothing to do with being chosen for salvation...Who God chooses is His business. He tells us He is not a respecter of persons. This means that God has chosen people from all walks of life, from all races and nationalities, no matter how sinful they might be. The saved can be mentally handicapped or smart, infants or elderly, rich or poor, or anybody in between. It is all up to God.

What if you haven't been chosen? Tough luck.

Those not elected by God will not be saved. They are born with souls that are dead, and their bodies will eventually perish.

But it's not all bad news:

Those who are not God’s elect will be eternally destroyed (annihilated), they will not be living eternally in a place of torment called hell as is commonly taught.

So hey, you might not get saved, but at least you won't rot in hell! Just in your grave.

3. All Churches are Wrong. They are false and lead by Satan. And I quote:

Without exception, there is no church today that is faithfully listening to the entire Bible....Anyone who is not following the God of the Bible is following a false religion and will come under the wrath of God.

Church members sincerely believe that they have the truth, but there can only be one truth, and that is the truth of the Bible as revealed by God to those whose spiritual eyes He has opened. The Bible is clear that beginning with The Great Tribulation, Satan began ruling in the churches. Churches are now under the authority of Satan who is showing himself as God.

Satan is the ruler, and the ministers and teachers in the churches are transformed as ministers of righteousness.  In other words, by all appearances those in the churches believe they are worshipping God, but in reality they are worshipping Satan!  

In particular, Satan has become particularly active since 1988, when The Great Tribulation started. Um, of course. I knew something went wrong in '88...that's the year my brother was born.

4. Many people believe the mark of the beast is some type of ID or embedded chip.

Really?



****


Okay, let's get back to the point: Why May 21? I'll tell you.

According to God (slash Harold Camping), Noah's Flood was on the 17th day of the 2nd month of the year 4990 BC.  Since God said that "a day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as a day," and that Noah was given 7 days to enter the ark, by logical extension humanity has been given a 7,000 year warning (starting at the time of the flood) about the Day of Reckoning. What is 7,000 years after 4990 BC? Why, 2011, of course, and converting the biblical calendar to our current-day calendar reveals that May 21st is "the 17th day of the 2nd month in the year 2011."

Next question: What will happen on May 21? I'm glad you asked! According to Harold Camping's bible readings:

On May 21st, whoever has been pre-chosen to be raptured will be "caught up in the air" and raptured.  With whatever benefits come with that. I guess no more sin? And a new heavenly body?

Meanwhile, there will be, and I quote, a "super enormous earthquake," one that is so big that all the graves of everyone who has ever been buried will be thrown open and corpses will be thrust out on the earth's surface. (Exception: dead people who have been raptured.)  The earthquake will result in tsunamis, "destroyed water systems and power plants, etc. Thus, there will be great plagues."

The earthquake marks the beginning of the five-month/153-day period between the rapture and the End of Times.

All those of us who were not ratpured will spend the period between May 21, 2011 and October 21, 2011 surrounded by decomposed and decomposing corpses, being plagued, and bemoaning the fact that we have not been saved.  Indeed, everyone on earth who was not preordained to be saved will experience (and I quote) "horrible sorrow" and "great shame" as they realize that we have been "left behind and are under the full wrath of God."  We will also "experience physical pain, which results from the plagues that will occur all over the world." 

On or before the last day of the universe, October 21, 2011, we will all die. If we didn't die from plague, earthquake or tsunami, then we'll be around for a great big fire, it seems.  On October 21:

The earth and all of its works will be burned up, even as the whole universe will be destroyed. The 13,023-year history of the world and all that has transpired here will be remembered no more.

All 13,023 years of the earth--all for naught!  Such a shame.

So that's what's coming, starting on Saturday, May 21, at 6pm.  Mark your calendars!

Final question: Why do so many people believe this?  This I have no answer for.  Except to say that it is probably only a small proportion of people who have actually wholeheartedly embraced the May 21 J-day thing.  It just seems like more because the rash of media coverage (plus the billboards) gives the false impression that the belief is more widespread. So perhaps the question should be, why do any people believe this?  And why is Harold Camping's media empire worth millions of dollars?

******

Clearly, I got a little too into reading about this May 21 hoohah, but I couldn't help myself. It's so fascinating (in an intellectual rubber-necking sort of way) that I can't help but look.  I'm not quite convinced by the arguments, however. I've got a few questions.

1.Time reports the earthquakes will start at 6pm on May 21.  6pm in what time zone? Or is the earthquake going to shake only one timezone at a time, starting at 6pm local time?

2. What is the point of quitting your job to tell everyone they are going to die? Especially if doing so won't help anybody get saved?  It's a little bit morbid and depressing, if you ask me (you know, the girl with the blog titled "We're All Gonna Die.") I mean, really. If there is nothing you can do to save yourself, why bother spreading the word? Do you just enjoy giving bad news?  Wouldn't you rather spend your last bits of money on booze and meth? You've already been saved, presumably, so you might as well sin it up instead of standing around on Bruin plaza in neon yellow shirts with signs proclaiming the apocalypse.

3.  Follow-up question: if we are already saved, or not saved, what's with the billboards?

4.  The word "Infallible," often followed by "proof," dots the document I read about May 21 being judgment day.  Do you think Harold Camping has a file in his office called "Infallible proof my May 21st infallible proof was fallible"? How is he going to explain himself if this time-zone-specific earthquake thing doesn't happen?  In 1994, when he previously predicted the rapture, erroneously, he claimed "important subsequent biblical information was not yet known." Basically, he made a math error. But now the Bible Guarantees May 21 is Correct!  I can't imagine his media empire will be worth as much on May 22, if the earth doesn't become covered in dead bodies...though who knows. He can always blame the math (which, let's be honest, nobody really "got" in the first place).  Plus, people are crazy.

5.  Is it a coincidence that on May 21 I will be "caught up in the air" (albeit on an airplane, not necessarily in rapture)? Or that I have 5 presentations to give at a conference staring on May 22, but none of them are done yet despite my best efforts?  Or that the number of days between my birth and May 21--10,824--factors into (4*6*40*10)+(2*12*(17+40-6)), where 2, 4, 6, 10, 12, 17, and 40 are all spiritually significant numbers? OR that I am actually already one of god's "chosen people," according to what I was told in Hebrew School? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

*****

Two links to end the post.
1. Worried about your pet after the rapture? This guy has you covered.
2. Want to party while shit gets crazy on May 21? AP has some party suggestions.

Dogbert might be on to something...

Via.

Designer babies?

People tend to get all up in arms about "designer babies," by which I mean babies whose genomes are designed to have, or to not have (or to express or not express) certain traits. Wherever you fall on the issue, you will probably be surprised to know that in many respects, we are already genetically designing our babies, only we are doing so unwittingly and not to positive effect.  For example, babies are in a sense "designed" through the food that women consume while pregnant. Yes, the food. You likely already realize that it's a bad idea to, say, smoke crack and/or drink while pregnant, but the food eaten during pregnancy may be equally important in terms of affecting the developing embryo. Take just two studies I read about recently as examples.

1. What a mother eats while pregnant can significantly affect the likelihood of her child becoming obese. (source)

2.  A pregnant woman's exposure to pesticides can affect her child's IQ. (more)

How do effects like this occur? The answer lies in the fascinating field of epigenetics, which I learned about a few years ago via (what else) an amazing episode of Nova.  As I am not a scientist or a science writer, I'll quote this Time article to explain the epigenome:

At its most basic, epigenetics is the study of changes in gene activity that do not involve alterations to the genetic code but still get passed down to at least one successive generation. These patterns of gene expression are governed by the cellular material — the epigenome — that sits on top of the genome, just outside it (hence the prefix epi-, which means above). It is these epigenetic "marks" that tell your genes to switch on or off, to speak loudly or whisper. It is through epigenetic marks that environmental factors like diet, stress and prenatal nutrition can make an imprint on genes that is passed from one generation to the next.

It's the biological expression of the "nurture" part of "nature vs. nurture"! Isn't that neat?

(Side note: I really wish I had found science this fascinating while it was still early enough in my life to consider science as a career. Social science is great and all, but it's mostly made up. You can quote me on that.)

In any case, it seems that the epigenome of developing embryos can be influenced by the mother's environment, including her diet.  The University of Utah has a neat little site in which they explain how this process works, but it basically boils down to this: what a mother eats can affect whether her offspring express certain genes or not. Here is a vivid visual example of how prenatal diet can affect development (the picture comes from the University of Utah, but the experiment is also explained in the Time article I referenced earlier):

Crazy, right?

Which brings me back to my main point. I'm increasingly of the opinion that the rash of autism and obesity affecting Americans, to pick just two maladies of many, are not "random" occurrences: they are caused by something. Could we, in a sense, be designing obese autistic babies via the epigenome and the mother's diet? It's not outside the realm of possibility.  I, for one, think that it's quite likely--and I haven't even addressed other environmental horrors that might be affecting unsuspecting embryos, nor the impact of what children are exposed to after exiting the womb. But I'll leave that last bit for another day.  I've got some social science to do.

***

Related: Books on my Amazon wishlist that I know I shouldn't read but want to anyway:

The Body Toxic: How the Hazardous Chemistry of Everyday Things Threatens Our Health and Well-being

The Hundred-Year Lie: How to Protect Yourself from the Chemicals That Are Destroying Your Health

Slow Death by Rubber Duck: The Secret Danger of Everyday Things

The Unhealthy Truth: One Mother's Shocking Investigation into the Dangers of America's Food Supply--and What Every Family Can Do to Protect Itself

My dissertation is killing me! Literally!

No wonder I have been feeling super crappy lately--too much damn sitting!

Via.

Some things to think about this Friday

• One man's opinions on the evils of Facebook. And another's.
  
• An interesting perspective on the "debate" over good (read: organic, non-pesticidey) food. This makes me mad - why is there any kind of "debate" about whether we should be poisoning people or not? Related.
  
• At least half of Americans breathe dangerously polluted air.  Guess who's been living in one of the most polluted areas for the past five years? This girl. I've already talked about air pollution here and here, but if you want to know more awful things about it, click here!
  
• 10 billion people on earth by the end of the century? That can't end well...
  
• Chernobyl is still emitting radiation. But it's not all bad news--biodiversity has increased tremendously in the Chernobyl area ever since they bulldozed everything and moved people out.  Except oh, deformities.
• This cat is as loud as a vacuum cleaner!
• Last but not least, have we passed peak oil? A neat perspective:

Babies and beheadings (but not at the same time)

As many of you know, my sister recently had a baby. Yep, my younger sister, sharer of much of my DNA, pushed a tiny human out of her lady hole, and let me tell you: it is ADORABLE. (The baby, not the lady hole.) Many of you will be surprised to hear this (but the rest of you won't), I love babies. And kids. Really, I do. I may seem like a cold-hearted bitch to strangers, what with my insistence on telling it like it is and whatnot, but I love kids. I always have. When I was growing up, my first two career ideas for myself were: swim teacher at the YMCA (I really liked my swim teacher) and then, when my mother pointed out that "swim teacher at the YMCA" wasn't actually a career, I aimed a little higher and decided I wanted to be a day care teacher.

Since that time my career goals have matured slightly (though if I'm being honest my ultimate career goal is to win the lottery and not have a career), but my love for children has not. And thus, I decided that when I am in Toronto for a conference at the end of this month, I'm going to tack a weekend on to the trip to go to upstate NY to visit my sister and her baby. But mostly her baby. Yes, I could wait until I move to the east coast in June/July to see the baby, but I don't want to wait! I want to see him now!

Getting from Toronto to upstate NY seems easy enough, as they are pretty close together, but it's not cheap. The easiest way to get there would be to fly, but that costs $400 or more, and you have to route through NYC which just seems stupid.  Renting a car is a $200 proposition, the train costs $100, and the bus $50. I'm still a poor grad student (though I won't be for long!), so obviously, I chose the bus. Plus, according to Greyhound, the bus I'll be taking has power outlets and free internet access. So it was a no brainer.

Speaking of no brainers (a morbid pun that will make sense in a minute), this brings me to the real topic of today's post. Yesterday I was telling someone about my plans to take the bus from Toronto to NY (and my hopes that it will be a more pleasant experience than the one I had taking a bus from Sofia, Bulgaria to Istanbul; man, that was an experience I don't want to repeat), and as soon as I mentioned "Greyhound" she gave me a meaningful look and said ominously, "I'd be careful who you sit in front of." Of course I asked why, and she proceeded to tell me about an incident in which a passenger on a Greyhound bus, out of nowhere, BEHEADED THE GUY SITTING IN FRONT OF HIM. Yep. Head completely off.  Most terrifyingly, the beheader and the beheadee didn't know each other; it was an act of random violence. I'd never heard of this, so I was convinced it was an urban legend.  Unfortunately, multiple news stories confirmed its veracity. There may also have been cannibalizing involved.

I did not know that beheading was a danger of bus travel (crashes and fires I know about), but now of course I am terrified that in my quest to meet my nephew I will end up with my head cut off by the guy behind me. Does this mean I have to sit in the last row of the bus? I hate that seat! It's next to the bathroom, and it makes me motion sick! (Wait, I just reread an account of the incident and it appears that the stabber attacked the guy sitting next to him, not in front of him. Phew. I really don't like that last seat.)

If you never hear from me after the end of this month, I guess you'll know what happened to me.

Who beheads a fellow bus passenger? Honestly.


***

FUN FACT: Prior to becoming a state, the Territory of Utah offered beheading as an optional method of execution!

Well, this is awesome.

A group of teenagers and pre-teens is suing the government, claiming that it is endangering future generations by putting business and profits before environmental protection.

I can't say I disagree.

To quote Alec Loorz, the teen who founded Kids vs. Global Warming:

I am 16 years old. This morning I filed a lawsuit against the United States of America, for allowing money to be more powerful than the survival of my generation, and for making decisions that threaten our right to a safe and healthy planet.

Alec has an entire guest post over at Good, which is worthwhile reading. I can't say that I think this stunt will work (I'm a cynic, but really, is a group of kids any match for the forces of  capitalism?), but I admire the effort.

Also, they seem to have engaged the services of a sweet graphic designer.

Best of luck, teenagers!  If this works out, I won't feel as conflicted about wanting to have kids while simultaneously believing that bringing new lives into the world is kind of irresponsible...

Interesting Tidbit (#1)

Sometimes I come across interesting things I'd like to share, but about which I do not want to write a whole big spiel. So I'm going to start a segment called Interesting Tidbits, in which I note down without much discussion some of the things that capture my attention. Here's the first:

Another reason to avoid becoming obese--There's a link between diabetes and alzheimer's disease.

Fascinating!

Related: By 2050, when the brown reculse spider will be living in the Northeast, laying in wait to bite me, 1 in 85 people worldwide could have alzheimer's (according to this study).

Rethinking my move to the Northeast?*

I have a kind-of job interview today (via Skype, oh, modern technology you never cease to amaze me), so I don't have a lot of time for blogging. Rest assured, ye few who read this thing, I have received your topic suggestions and I will get around to looking into them, eventually. Probably. In the meantime, let's explore a danger I currently don't have to worry about...but might if this new job thing works out and I move back to Massachusetts. And the globe warms.

Terrifying Brown Spiders Moving North with Global Warming

Fascinating: Wikipedia suggests that
you do not use coins for scale

Now, I'm not really afraid of spiders (unlike my sister, who literally cannot be in the same room as a spider, much to my chagrin--I can't tell you how many spiders I have killed on her behalf), but I might have to revise my stance on arachnophobia because of a new spider I just learned about: The brown recluse spider.

I had never heard of the brown reculse spider before I read this Good post that warned of a (potential) shift in their habitat due to global warming.  Apparently, though, Fox News claims it is "America's most feared spider." And we know if Fox News said it, it must be true.

According to the article I read, there's a chance that by 2050-2080, the brown recluse spider's habitat will have moved up to the northeast, encompassing many of the states I dream about living in (the left and right columns are based on different estimates of global warming changes):

Source

Thankfully, I'll probably be dead or close to dead by the time I have to worry about this. Thus I experience only minor panic!

****

Back to reality. (Oh! There goes gravity!)

Although Google imaging "brown recluse spider bite" is a TERRIFYINGLY BAD IDEA, I'm sad to report that it really doesn't seem like these spiders are all that scary.  The University of California, Riverside goes to great lengths to inform people that really, you have very little to worry about. Nevertheless, this description of a brown recluse spider bite from Ohio State University makes me just a little scared, regardless of the actual risk:

The bite of the brown recluse spider can result in a painful, deep wound that takes a long time to heal. Fatalities are extremely rare, but bites are most dangerous to young children, the elderly, and those in poor physical condition. When there is a severe reaction to the bite, the site can erupt into a "volcano lesion" (a hole in the flesh due to damaged, gangrenous tissue). The open wound may range from the size of an adult's thumbnail to the span of a hand. The dead tissue gradually sloughs away, exposing underlying tissues. The sunken, ulcerating sore may heal slowly up to 6 to 8 weeks. Full recovery may take several months and scarring may remain.

Gah! I don't want an open lesion the size of an adult hand on me!!

****

Eep! It's about time for me to get ready for this Skype interview business. I'll leave you with this: Think you have a brown recluse spider bite? You probably don't. Also, spider myths!


*Alternate title for this post, thought of too late: Based on the amount that I go outside, I think we should start calling me the White Recluse. (It's funny 'cause it's true.)