Holy crap and a half

Have you guys heard about Cordyceps? It's a parasitic fungus that invades insects, hijacks their brain, and then uses their bodies to reproduce. It's freaky as hell, and yet I can't look away:

(See also.)

Don't be lulled into a false sense of security that something like this can't happen to you just because you're not an insect. Humans too can be invaded and have their brains hijacked (long article, but totally worth a read).

All Men are Mortal, and All Fruit Flies Are Boozers

Well, I'm sorry to say I haven't particularly cheered up as of late...I even flew myself all the way to California in the hopes that a change of pace (and some friend time) would make me feel better, and I continued to mope while I was there because everything is terrible and we're all gonna die and I'm gonna die alone and I am the worst. But I have been doing a lot of thinking about how to make life a little more enjoyable and I guess a good start is some edjumucation. I do like learning me some new things! Like these random tidbits I've stumbled across lately:

• Fruit flies seek fermenting fruit to keep wasps away.
• There is a contest for Oddest Book Title, and one of the books on the shortlist this year is God's Doodle, and I'll let you click on that link to find out what "God's doodle" is.
• Crying in space is hard to do.
• Thomas Edison invented LOLCats?
• The world is in need of portable fish authenticity tests...beware your sushi!
• Oh god, prairie dogs have the black death.
• Dolphins might call each other by name. Amazing.
• Holy moly look at these giant bird nests! I wouldn't want to stand under any of those...
• Note to self: do not store your gun magazine (should you ever be in possession of one) in the oven.
• OMG the world's soil is running out.
• And the pièce de résistance: Can you eat your own poop? Spoiler alert: Yep. Second spoiler alert: there is a word meaning "eating poop" and this word is "coprophagy." 

In some more existential crisis news, I recently read All Men are Mortal, by Simon de Beauvoir. It was an odd book that I don't particularly recommend, but I mention it because it was more or less a meditation on immortality, and therefore on mortality, and on what makes a life meaningful. The main message I took from the novel is that individual lives are relatively meaningless and can make little impact (even immortal ones) and in the aggregate humans are constantly repeating their errors...but at least humans are mortal and get to die. So let this serve as a note to self: life might be pointless, but at least you'll die some day!

And hey look, this is topical:

As is this (from one of my favorite new (to me) blogs).

And this:

Via

Finally, to finish this long ramble, I can't wait to teach my nephew about what goats actually sound like:


1:24 is obviously the best part of this compilation.

As if I needed *another* reason to be scared of the ocean

Man. Have you guys heard about cookie-cutter sharks?  I read an article about them last week and I think I'm going to have nightmares forever. "Cookie-cutter" sharks may sound adorable (who doesn't love cookies, after all), but don't be fooled--these buggers are terrifying little hell-raisers that attack things like great white sharks, dolphins, tuna, Orcas,...AND PEOPLE.* They're so awful that one shark expert (the alliteratively named Stewart Springer) apparently called  them "demon whale-biters," though he later popularized the "cookie cutter" moniker...maybe because he felt bad for calling them names? Personally, I think he over-corrected.

The primary thing that makes cookie cutter sharks so scary is their teeth, which are basically serrated saw blades (all connected together in one menacing piece), and the way that they use said teeth to attack things. Here's how a blogger at NatGeo described the animal:

It looks like a demonic cigar. It’s a small cat-sized animal with chocolate-coloured skin, a rounded snout, and large green eyes. Beneath the bizarre head, its lower jaw contains what looks like a saw—a row of huge, serrated teeth, all connected at their bases.

When the cookie-cutter finds a victim, it latches on with its large fleshy lips and bites down with its saw blade. With twisting motions, it scoops out a chunk of flesh, leaving behind circular craters...These are serious injuries—the biggest craters ever recorded were 5 centimetres wide and 7 centimetres deep. (These chunks are conical, so the cookie-cutter metaphor isn’t quite right; “Ice cream scoop shark” or “watermelon baller shark” are more accurate, if less catchy.)

Apparently, cookie cutter sharks have the biggest
teeth of any shark, in relation to their jaws.

Terrifying, right??? If you were ever unlucky enough to be attacked by a cookie cutter shark (which you probably won't be, as they only come out at night, and who in their right mind swims in the ocean at night?!), the main problem you would have is that your wound CAN'T HEAL. To quote someone who appears to have no medical training, but who LiveScience talked to about cookie cutter shark bites nonetheless,

Not only is [a cookie cutter shark bite] painful, but it presents a difficult circumstance for recovery in the sense that there has to be plastic surgery to close the wound and you have permanent tissue loss.

Oh, no biggie, I just had some flesh scooped out of me by a demon whale biter. 

*Shudder*. Mark this as reason #2 why I plan never again to swim in the ocean. (Reason #1 is accidental paralysis, as described here.)

Now, I'd better get to something less horrible. You're welcome for this cheerful Monday pick-me-up!




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*And Submarines! According to Wikipedia:

During the 1970s, several U.S. Navy submarines were forced back to base for repairs by cookiecutter shark bites to the neoprene boots of their AN/BQR-19 sonar domes, which caused the sound-transmitting oil inside to leak and impaired navigation. An unknown enemy weapon was initially feared, before this shark was identified as the culprit, and the problem was solved by installing fiberglass covers around the domes.In the 1980s, some thirty U.S. Navy submarines were damaged by cookiecutter shark bites, mostly to the rubber-sheathed electric cable leading to the sounding probe used to ensure safety when surfacing in shipping zones. Again, the solution was to apply a fiberglass coating.

Guess where this picture was taken

I came across a neat picture today:

Guess where it was taken?

F'in MARS. Mars!!

The above is actually an enhanced version of this...but still. Can you believe these pictures are being beamed to us from another planet? I know such a thing has been done before, many times, but to be honest I haven't ever paid attention. This time I am captivated...science is pretty cool sometimes. More from Curiosity here.

Hurricanes and earthquakes and no dissertating at all...oh my!

So much doom and gloom lately in these here parts! First the east coast got rocked by an earthquake (aside: I love this article about the quake from the eminent Insurance Journal, perhaps for the article's title alone), and then Boston got hit by a hurricane (or almost a hurricane, anyway). I sadly did not feel the earthquake, and while I was properly terrified of Irene before the storm hit, I found the actual experience of the hurricane (or whatever it was) quite anticlimactic (as did many people, I suspect, as Irene's intensity forecast was just a bit off). We didn't even lose power! Though when I emerged from hiding at the end of the day on Sunday, I was treated to one heck of a mess on the street:

Check out this half-a-tree (rhymes with half-a-bee), perched precariously on the power lines (or telephone lines? How to tell the difference?):

Crazypants!

Though the storm caused less damage than expected, it was still pretty bad, and many experts believe there could be many more of these giant storms in the future, what with climate change and all. Next time one comes along I will make sure to not park under a tree.

That tiny branch almost hit my car!

I might also tune into the weather channel for the duration of the next storm. Sounds fun.

***

Even more doomful than the earthquake and the hurricane, however, is the fact that I have done almost no dissertating for the past two weeks. This is bad bad news, people. The damn thing is never going to get done!

Though I suppose things could be worse.

***

Mr. Diss is not pleased. He says, "GET TO WORK!"

What's at stake

This is what we are destroying with our ignorance and greed.*


The Mountain from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

*The natural world, I mean. Not the ability of humans to capture such beautiful images using hunks of (probably toxic) plastic.