Are dolphins smart?

Not particularly.

They can't even actually communicate with any sophistication:

A disproportionate amount of dolphin research time has been devoted to teasing out any potential for language – the science-fictional myth of dolphinese – from their vocalizations. If dolphins had language, we would almost certainly have found it by now. When their vocalizations turned out to be rote and inflexible, “I’m scared!” “I’m mating!” “I see food!” pretty much covers it, the research turned to echolocation clicks. Perhaps dolphins were sending each other 3D holographic messages encoded in their clicks. Nope.

They do have signature whistles that identify the dolphin as an individual, but that’s the most referential thing about their communication system. In contrast, ground squirrels have an amazingly semantically-rich signaling system. Nothing about the dolphin whistle repertoire would prevent it from being used as a discrete combinatorial system to convey unlimited meaning, it’s just that dolphins don’t use it for that.

Also, they are jerks:

Adult male dolphins routinely kill porpoises, not for food — or even out of competition for food – but because the porpoise is similar in size to a dolphin calf. The killings serve as practice for their regular infanticidal behaviour, a sure way to ready mothers for mating.

Interesting review/summary of a book that's coming out in a few months.

May the hoboes inherit the earth

Every once in a while I come across something that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling about humanity, that makes me believe maybe things aren't so bad after all. Today that thing was this:

There is something called the National Hobo Convention.

Those of you who know me personally probably know I have a bit of a fascination with hoboes¹ (though you, like me, probably have no idea why). Thus I was predictably thrilled this morning when I found out about the National Hobo Convention, which takes place annually in Britt, Iowa and has been going since 1900. The reason I discovered the storied event was that Buzzfeed sent one of its staff members (Matt Stopera) to the convention this year,² and in response said staff member wrote "61 things I learned at the National Hobo Convention," and I discovered said 61 things, and...wow. What a marvel. You should read the article...it won't take long, and you'll come out with a new appreciation of hoboes. Not to mention the piece itself is pretty awesome, and studded with photographs. My favorite part was the hobo marriage vows:

We are in accord with the following:
1. You are the way you are, and, it's OK for you to be that way.
2. May my love for you always be greater than my need for you.
3. May I always do what's right even if it's not what I want.
4. To help you be a success in your way.

Isn't that unexpectedly lovely?

Mr. Stopera also profiled 8 hoboes, all of whom sound like real characters. Though I suppose you have to be a real character to make it as a hobo these days.

The simple fact that any of this exists has made me inexplicably happy.

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If you've got time to surf the web, check out all these hobo resources I discovered with only cursory effort:

• 1939 HOBO HANDBOOK (I kid you not)
• Surprisingly long Wikipedia article about hoboes
• Hobo signs
• The hobo grapevine
• Hobo poems and songs
• The original hobo nickel society

I have a feeling there are a lot more hobo things lurking out there on the web just waiting to be discovered. Hoboes are awesome.

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^{1 It's unclear whether the preferred spelling is "hobos" or "hoboes." I've decided I prefer "hoboes" because it looks more old-timey.
2 Hobo reporter?! How do I get that job???}

Ever wonder which state boasts the highest likelihood of smashing one's car into a deer?

Wonder no more! According to State Farm the answer is West Virginia, where a driver has, on average, a 1 in 53 chance of colliding with a deer. This is followed by Iowa, where the chance is 1 in 77.

Wondering where one is least likely to hit a deer? To answer let me quote directly from this press release:

The state in which deer-vehicle collisions are least likely is...Hawaii (1 in 6,267). The odds of a Hawaiian driver colliding with a deer between now and 12 months from now are approximately equal to the odds that that driver is a practicing nudist.

I suppose if anyone would have figures relating to the odds of a driver being a practicing nudist, it would be an insurance company.

Friday Fatigue

Man. It's hard to have a full time job, move across town/the country, write a dissertation, try to have a semblance of a social life,* AND keep up with this blog.

I've been bookmarking things to write about here, but let's be honest: I won't get around to most of it. So here's a list of things I've found interesting recently.

1. WATCH YOUR HEAD! I was informed yesterday that there's a satellite falling to earth that is going to clear orbit today, and that there's a 1 in 3200 chance it could hit a person (a statistic I have verified in an extremely detailed NASA PowerPoint). While this doesn't precisely translate into a 1 in 3200 chance that it could hit ME, I'm not taking any chances. I think I'll work from the subway today. They have wifi down there, don't they?

(Side note: In my brief research on this satellite-maybe-hitting-me business, I discovered that NASA has an entire office dedicated to studying things that fall from space and might hit me. They think of everything!)

2. The world's (allegedly) deadliest volcano might erupt soon. Not a good time to plan a trip to Indonesia, I guess.

3. Ever wonder how breakfast cereal is made? Wonder no more! (Also, eat cereal no more...ick.)

4. Speaking of icky industrial food, the first two parts of this piece have rather disturbed me. Wood pulp in our food, and tasteless OJ? Guess I'll be fresh-squeezing my juice from now on, and trying to avoid chemically-treated pulverized wood.

More on food-grade wood pulp here and here. (Worth reading about, in my opinion.)

5. More tax, more happy?

6. And finally, some fun. Researchers have analyzed male dance moves to discover what the ladies like the most. The results might surprise you, so I'll quote directly from the abstract [try here for the full article]: "Three movement measures were key predictors of dance quality; these were variability and amplitude of movements of the neck and trunk, and speed of movements of the right knee."

More specifically, the following aspects of dudes' dancing seems to account for most of the variability in ladies' ratings: neck internal/external rotation (head shaking), trunk abduction/adduction (sideways bending), and right knee internal/external rotation (twisting).

Not to be a hater, but there is literally no attractive dance I can imagine that involves shaking one's head while bending sideways and twisting the right knee rapidly. But what do I know.

Do you guys remember this guy? Check out that trunk abduction/adduction!

Happy Friday.


*I am blatantly failing at my goal of making no new friends until the dissertation is done. Shame on me.

Interesting Tidbit: Food Dyes

Here's a neat little article about food dyes that I came across a while back. It should probably be called "Why I shop at Whole Foods almost exclusively," or "Why I often wish I lived in Europe." I mean...why would anyone put DYE in peas? Or orange peels? What is this world coming to! (Oh.)

Interesting Tidbit (#1)

Sometimes I come across interesting things I'd like to share, but about which I do not want to write a whole big spiel. So I'm going to start a segment called Interesting Tidbits, in which I note down without much discussion some of the things that capture my attention. Here's the first:

Another reason to avoid becoming obese--There's a link between diabetes and alzheimer's disease.

Fascinating!

Related: By 2050, when the brown reculse spider will be living in the Northeast, laying in wait to bite me, 1 in 85 people worldwide could have alzheimer's (according to this study).