Nobody puts baby in the corner! Or out in the park.

Folks, if we are going to continue the human race, we are going to have to protect our children. If I learned anything in chorus in elementary school, it is this: I believe the children are our future. (Teach them well, and leeeeet them leeeead the wayyyy...)*

That's why I'm surprised we aren't still heeding the following recommendation from the Kansas State Board of Public Health, circa 1920:

Via

Moms these days are so overprotective. I think it's pretty clear from this well-thought-out poster that all you need to do is stick baby in the pen under the tree and let him Amuse Himself. He'll be fine; just don't do it THE WRONG WAY!

And if ever there was a case for keeping baby in a pen, it is this video that's making the rounds of the internet:

BEWARE THE EAGLES.

Yes, yes, I know, the video is a hoax (sorry for the bad PR, Canada). But according to the New York Times (September 25, 1888), this very thing has actually happened.**

Don't say I haven't warned you.

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*Another thing I learned in chorus in elementary school is that I am terrible at singing.
**...Maybe.